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Coaching the Underachieving High Schooler
By: Dr. Steven Richfield
While high school presents a world of possibilities, adolescence
ignites the fires to make those into realities. Today's ready
access to peers through instant messaging,tempting entertainment
options, and a vast array of activities, can easily undermine
a teenager's academic dedication. Underachievement occurs when
students do not perform at expected levels based upon past performance
or another standard such as intelligence or standardized testing.
This pattern sounds an alarm in the future-oriented minds of parents,
sending them scrambling to point blame and demanding course correction
from kids. Unfortunately, parental responses can do more harm
than good. Before you jump into the role of underachievement-buster,
consider the following coaching tips:
Short cuts to success, although effective
in the past, are no longer working to the same degree.
Prior to high school, it is common for bright students to earn
excellent grades without fully applying themselves. Minimizing
the importance of thorough studying and overlooking the need for
good note-taking are work habits brought to high school. They
carry the misconception that intelligence will produce A's, rather
than hard work and sacrifice. If this describes your child, gently
share these observations, but be prepared for them to accuse you
of not having confidence in them. Offer the following retort,"I
believe you are smart enough to realize that as the work gets
harder, you have to work harder to reach the level of excellence
you are capable of."
Don't be too quick to pin the blame on
one distraction, remove it, and create a bigger problem.
In their zeal to find the cause for underachievement, many parents
narrowly focus on one of their pet peeves, such as instant messaging
or gaming, and temporarily delete it from their child's life.
Whether or not parents admit it, this action is an arbitrary punishment
and will be viewed as such by teens. Adolescents don't academically
excel under such conditions, but may now have another reason to
put less effort into their school work: retaliation against parents.
This downside risk must be carefully considered before parents
resort to privilege removal. A far better approach is to suggest
that certain temptations may be too much for them to resist, and
to brainstorm ways of curbing them. For example, teens can surrender
certain favorite games at the end of each evening so that they
are not available when they return home from school the next day.
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The Underachieving High Schooler |
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(continued)
Sometimes underachievement is a symptom
of big, or what might seem small, problems.
It's important not to overlook that depression, social disappointment
or isolation, prolonged conflict with or between parents, medical
issues, or other problems can lead to underachievement. Teens
may be unable to effectively balance the challenges of high school
with the pressures imposed by these other issues. Similarly, a
host of other less obvious factors may be underlying performance
problems, such as peer perceptions of academic excellence, personality
conflicts with or dislike of teachers, inadequate sleep, etc.
Consider the possible reasons without
rushing to judgment, approach your teen and demonstrate your interest
in their viewpoint.
Adolescence is already a time of heightened insecurity, so it's
best to tread lightly. Suggest some of the above possibilities
but emphasize the importance of a mutually agreeable plan of action.
Consider establishing a time table for grade improvement and actions
to be taken if goals are not met.
Dr. Steven Richfield is a child psychologist
in Plymouth Meeting, PA. He has developed a child-friendly self-control/social
skills building program called Parent Coaching Cards now in use
all over the world. His new book, The Parent Coach: A New Approach
To Parenting In Today's Society is available through Sopris West
(sopriswest.com or 1-800-547-6747)
He can be contacted at www.parentcoachcards.com
or 610-238-4450
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